How to Get on The Biggest Loser

Sometimes I watch Dr. Phil.
::hold for judgment::
Okay, great...

So, yes.  Sometimes I watch Dr. Phil. And by sometimes I mean I DVR him and watch him every single day. 
::hold for more judgment::
Okay, great.

Earlier this week, Phil had on a guest named Susanne Eman.  Allow me to share with you what Susanne consumed in one days time:
-5 donuts
-7 egg omelette (made with an entire bag of ham, a cup and a half of cheese, one onion and one bell pepper)
-hash browns made from 5 potatoes
-an ENTIRE package of bacon
-large pepperoni pizza
-box of Mac and Cheese
-10 fish tacos
-rice and beans
-package of pepperoni
-6 candy bars
-large box of honey buns
-2 bowls of ice cream
-2 bacon cheeseburgers
-3 bananas
-handful of strawberries (she's healthy!)
-2 ham sandwiches with bacon bits, croutons, mayo, cheese, and ranch dressing
-large bag of potato chips
-guac made from 6 avocados
-large bag of tortilla chips
-large bag of peanut M&M's
-gallon of sweet tea

::hold for shock::

...true story.
I heard this while trying to convince myself to not feel guilty from eating a turkey sandwich and a coke. 

Here's the thing -- homegirl currently weighs 541 pounds.  Her goal weight for her wedding is 800 pounds and her overall goal weight for life is 1,600.  Her reason? She appreciates women with curves.
Oh really?

Here's the thing -- we've all had that thought (and by "all", I mean me) of "maybe if I gained 200 pounds I could get on The Biggest Loser, get my ass kicked and look really hot".  But then what happens if they don't pick you? Then you're just fucked.  And fat.
You know this is what Susanne was thinking.  And it worked.  Because as soon as Philly boy offered her a trip to some fatty rehab, she didn't even think twice about accepting.

Allow me to share with you a line Susanne has on her website about her body:
"The way my body moves on its own, yet with me is poetry in motion."
...huh?

Frankly, a part of me is disappointed she's going to rehab because that daily list of shocking food intake was the most entertaining thing I've seen in a really long time.

I've also been inspired to take some sexy photos, because if Susanne can, then damnit ladies... so can I.

For those wondering, yes -- this is from a modeling shoot. 

On that note, this girl is gonna have herself some string cheese.